| |
thewiz
|
It is the month of Sept. 2009, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.
He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to choose one.
The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.
The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.
The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.
The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.
The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.....
And that, is how the United States Government is doing business today.
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:54 am on Sep. 25, 2009
|
|
SHEIKH14
|
''My God! What happened to you?'' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
''I got in a tiff with Riley.''
''Riley? He's just a wee fellow,'' the barkeep said, surprised. ''He must have had something in his hand.''
''That he did,'' Kelly said. ''A shovel it was.''
''Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?''
''Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's left boob.'' Kelly said. ''And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.''
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:28 pm on Sep. 25, 2009
|
|
SHEIKH14
|
A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms
with his homosexuality and decided to 'come out of the closet'.
His plan was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit,
he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying herself
stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, he explained
to her that he had realized he was gay.
Without looking up from her stew, his mother said,
"You mean, homosexual?"
"Well...yes."
His mother said nothing for several minutes, mulling over what
she had just heard. Then, without looking up she said:
"Does that mean you suck men's penises?"
Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an
embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and,
brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose,
snapped:
"Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"'
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:33 pm on Sep. 25, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter & tighter as the day went on.
That night after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles had retired back to their room.
Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling. My feet are killing me.'
Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigor....... But it would not budge.
'Harder' yelled Camilla. 'Harder'
Charles yelled back, 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!'
'Come on give it all you've got ' she cried.
Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed 'There! Oh God, that feels so good.'
In their bedroom next door The Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said 'See I told you she was still a virgin with a face like that!'
Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh god, darling this ones even tighter'
At which point Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen 'That's my boy, once a Navy man, always a navy man!'
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 8:12 pm on Sep. 25, 2009
|
|
Kaymanx
|
Thanks, thewiz.
The Black Sea story is the best I have read in a long time.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:56 am on Sep. 26, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
An Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus...
'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor? Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,’ I' m fine!'?' Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....'
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'. Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.
'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into t'other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident, a Policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the Fook would you have said?
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:48 pm on Sep. 26, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
SOME ONE LINERS:
A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, 'Are you comfortable? ' The man says, 'I make a good living.'
--------------
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
---------------------------------------
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
-----------------------------------------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
--------------------------------------------------
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
-----------------------------------------------------
My wife and I went to a hotel where
we got a water bed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
--------------------------------------------
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
-------------------------------------------
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, 'Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, 'So did my arthritis!'
--------------------------------------------
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
because They're worth it.
---------------------------------------
Why do Jewish men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
---------------------------------------------------------
There is a big
controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
----------------------------------------------------
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: Have you seen t he newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A: I t's called, 'Debbie Does Dishes.'
------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, 'What part is it?'
The boy says, 'I play the part of the Jewish husband. '
The mother scowls and says, 'Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.'
------------------------------------------------------------------
Q : What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:53 pm on Sep. 26, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
Three guys go down to Mexico one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. They find out that they're to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.
Figuring the law is on this guy's side, they let him go.
The last one is strapped in and say's "I'm an electrical engineer, and I'll tell you right now, you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires."
God rest his soul.
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:04 pm on Sep. 26, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
A bus stops, and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in
an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
'Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.'
'You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed swine,' retorted the lady
indignantly.'In this country.... we don't speak aloud in public places
about our sex lives.'
'Hey, coola! down lady,' said the man. 'Who ta lkin' abou ta sex?
I'm a just a tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi'.'
I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 2:07 pm on Sep. 26, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.
'Actually, yes, I do.'
'Does it hurt you?' he asked.
'No. I rather like it.'
'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'
The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?'
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:10 pm on Sep. 26, 2009
|
|
| |
|
