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thewiz
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A man bought a parrot. It sat in its cage all day saying, "Cracker want a polly. Cracker want a polly."
The man's friend heard the bird and said, "That bird is really stupid!"
The owner said, "No, his name's Cracker, and he's very horny."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:05 pm on Oct. 25, 2009
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thewiz
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Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..'
The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay.
Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.'
Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week.
When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.'
'What skill?' yelled Paddy. 'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says: 'Yep, diesel fitter.'
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:06 pm on Oct. 25, 2009
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thewiz
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Jon was looking for a little "action."
He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac.
After six times having sex, she was screaming for more.
After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped into the men's room.
He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, "Look, it's okay. She's not here!"
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:21 pm on Oct. 25, 2009
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expatchuck
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Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman. She asked me if I liked breasts or legs. I told her what I really liked was a shaved snatch.
Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 5:12 am on Oct. 29, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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Quote: from expatchuck on 5:12 pm on Oct. 29, 2009
" Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC."
but always welcome to L.O.S
regards
s a sheikh
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:04 am on Oct. 29, 2009
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expatchuck
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Got another one. This is the foreword on a book I recently bought for one of our members who was having a little trouble in LOS.
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Thank you for purchasing "Bubba & Cooter's Book of Sure-fire Pick-up Lines"
brought to you by Bubba & Cooter, straight outta Tennessee. Enjoy!
1) Did you fart? cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
6) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
7) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
8) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
9) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
AND.. the best for last!
10) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:32 am on Oct. 29, 2009
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bigdantwoshots
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Confucious say "Man who walk through airplane entrance sideways with hard-on is going to Bangkok"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:01 pm on Oct. 29, 2009
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thewiz
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A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk.
A man comes in and asks the farmer,
"Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.
The farmer then decides to try and answer,
"Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her.
Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over."
That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"Try me" the man says.
The farmer relenting, continued "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her.
Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over."
"OK so 2 buckets of milk spilled. That still isn't that bad."
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
" So, what did you do then?" the man asked, intrigued.
"I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
"Wow, you must have been pretty upset, but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So then what else did you do?" the man asked again. "
Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in.
"Like I said! Some things you just can't explain."
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:40 pm on Oct. 30, 2009
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thewiz
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A primary school teacher asked her students to use the word
'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and
we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was
good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see the Blarney Stone
and I was fascinated. The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I
wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been
burned by Little Johnny before.. She finally decided there was no way he
could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are
so big she can only fasten eight.'
The teacher sat down and cried.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:42 pm on Oct. 30, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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A woman was sitting in her living room chatting with her
neighbor. She looked out of her window and saw her husband coming home with flowers in his hand.
"Oh no", said the woman. "Here comes my husband with flowers. Now I'll have to spend all night on my back with my feet up in the air".
"What's the matter?" asks the neighbor. "Don't you have a vase in the house?"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:20 am on Oct. 31, 2009
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